Toos van der Valk: leading lady of the family

Toos van der Valk (92) can look back on a rich but also eventful life. With husband Gerrit (1928-2009), as a top entrepreneur, she helped found the family business Van der Valk Hotels & Restaurants. She became one of the best-known businesswomen of her generation. We spoke to her amidst a number of her grand- and great-grandchildren.

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All of Holland closed her heart after she was kidnapped in 1982 and released only after three weeks. Just as many people shared in her grief during the other sad events she had to deal with privately. Toos is also loved by her no less than 38 grandchildren and 48 great-grandchildren, who carry her on their hands. We ask this rather always very energetic grandmother and great-grandmother what such a large and close family means to her.

What an incredible amount of offspring. No doubt you are very busy.

'The phone rings with me all day long. I am always surrounded by one or more children and grandchildren; I have them visiting me all the time. This month I am even taking the grandchildren to our hotel Barcarola on the Costa Brava. I make such trips with them more often. Sometimes just with the 19 girls, other times separately with the 19 boys. And now again with all of them. For example, we play cards or do sports. That really is a tradition in the family.'

You also share your daily life with Marvis.

'Yes, she has been my right-hand man and my best friend for nine years. Marvis even lives in the house with me. She is also family to me, absolutely. We do everything together. Groceries, shopping, traveling.' You certainly don't spend your old age behind the geraniums, as we say in the Netherlands.

Are you also still heavily involved in the business?

'Oh, for sure. At family gatherings I'm still present. We once started in Hotel Vught, where all our children were born. After 21 years we moved to Nuland and I still live there. In Hotel Nuland I still come regularly, of course. Our company has burned down completely twice, but it has also risen again from its ashes. And the new building is beautiful again. Every time I'm there, I enjoy the warm atmosphere.' You will experience that resurrection as a victory.

So you literally cannot just burn away a Van der Valk .

[Laughs] "True. That's why I'm extra proud, yes. Here we are again! That makes me feel really good.'

Toos van der Valk

At 92, what wisdom will you impart to your children and grandchildren?

'The wisdom that happiness never comes alone. That bitter setbacks and sadness are also part of life. And that there is only one way to overcome them. Namely through the love you receive from your fellow human beings. Love conquers all in the end. The support of my family and friends helped me get over my worst pain. I was happy and moved when I returned home after that abduction and everyone was there for me. Thanks to our strong family bond, I have been able to cope with other tragic events in my life. Now when I'm feeling down, I place a positive thought in return. Look at what has been and still is the opposite, I tell myself in those moments. What a lucky person I am with my dear family and with the fantastic marriage Gerrit and I had for 54 years. With that realization, I gather ammunition for those phases in life when things get tough. The love of my loved ones has made me stronger.

What is your greatest desire as the leading lady of this large family?

'That we will also remain closely and lovingly connected with each other in the near and distant future, and want to learn from each other. I have every confidence in this, because every subsequent Van der Valk generation will receive our family values from an early age. This togetherness is also the foundation of our beautiful family business, which we hope will continue to exist for a long time to come. That is my ultimate wish.

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